When The Tides Turn

When the tide turns do you swim against the current or with it? I know they say you are supposed to swim with it, but what about the tides of life? What about when everything is going great or at least good and then all of a sudden you find yourself being drug out to the wide open ocean? What do you do then?

I had an appointment this week and I found myself being drug out into the ocean. I felt like I was drowning. It was not the news I was expecting to hear. I’ve been out of remission for three months and we knew that it would be aggressive and we knew that it would be difficult to get under control, but we didn’t expect it would be THIS aggressive. Three months. Three months is all it took for me to hit the, “well, we’ve reached the last stage…we’ll start you on infusions, but there’s nothing else we can do for you.” I sat there in that chair and had to hold on to the sides of it for fear that the wave would knock me off. “There’s nothing else we can do.” Those words echoed in my mind as I was driving back home.

I have an hour drive and as I was crying from this news, I did what any 45 year old woman who just got news like this would do…I called my momma. Next to my grams, my momma is the strongest woman I know. And even though I know she wanted to cry with me, she stayed strong on the phone with me and reminded me that God’s got me and that He put me in remission once and it ain’t over til HE says it is, no matter what the doctors say.

So as I felt like I was drowning, I was reminded that my Lifeguard walks on water. My Lifeguard commands the waves and the wind, He calms the seas. I just need to keep my eyes on my Lifeguard. So as the tears were still falling, I began praying. I still struggle, I am still adjusting, I am still processing, but I am looking up.

2 Corinthians 4:16 “Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.”